HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE! I’M A BIT OF A NARCISSIST. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE!

POST IF I WANT TO, POST IF I WANT TO! (You would post, too, if it happened to you!) (Which is has at least a couple times in your life …) (The real question is, WHY DO NOT MORE PEOPLE POST ON THEIR BIRTHDAYS LIKE ME???)

The sad truth is … it’s not my birthday. Yesterday was my birthday. But I’m such a slave to my schedule that I couldn’t nudge this post even a weeeeee bitsy bitty bit over for my OWN. FREAKIN’. BIRTHDAY. I suck as a person.

The good news is … BIRTHDAYS LAST ALL MONTH! At least, I see all of August as a time of worshiping Kell. I don’t know about you, but it seems like a good idea …

Not for anyone else with an August birthday, though. Just me. I want all the attention on me. *is so important*

In all seriousness, though, I’m going to talk a bit about the things I have done in these seventeen years of my life.

BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS AND WHATNOT!

• Published some novels.

  • I’m not selling copies, but hey, I published them!
  • (Let’s ignore the fact that I’d have to actually market to sell copies. That’s not important.)

• Did this blog.

  • I like this blog a lot, actually.

• Have four nieces and a nephew.

  • I like to think of them as accomplishments.
  • Being an aunt is sooo hard.
  • I think I’ve had to watch them, like, three times!
  • Not even joking!!

• Am a princess.

  • I’m a level above Disney princesses in that I don’t need a man, I talk to animals only I also slaughter and eat them (numnumnum), and my parents didn’t die.
  • Because I was too inherently awesome for anyone around me to die.
  • They were all like, “Uh, dying? No! We gotta live so we can hang with our daughter!”

• I’m my grandparents’ favorite.

  • Would I lie to you?

• I have cats.

  • I have five now, actually.
  • Sparrow had another litter of three, so we have Sparrow, Sinatra, and I think Heidi (big sister, the author-y one) named the yellow kitten Auric (he’s a character in her book, Spellsmith & Carver) and I have no clue about the calico and the black/white.

• DOGS!

  • I’ve had three great dogs now.
  • Spoiler alert: All Border Collies.
  • There was Gidget, who we had to shoot last November because she was miserably diabetic. Basically broke my heart. Still can’t really talk about it. 😞You only get so many best friends …
  • And then we have Riley (our boy dog who is … honestly a big awkward sweetheart who has no idea how to dog???) and Aubrey (who is the most golden-retriever-like border collie ever???).
  • They aren’t Gidget, but Aubrey’s “My Girl” (that’s what I call her rather than her name) and Riley “Handsome Boy” (that’s what I call him instead of his name).
  • (Just in case you’re curious, I called Gidget “puppy-dog,” “princess,” “Gidge-me-gidge,” “baby,” “bae,” “puppy,” and basically everything but “Gidget”???)
  • (That’s how I am with people I love … or dogs I love, I guess … because dogs aren’t people … #dailyreminder)

• I love cows.

  • This is an achievement, right? Like, a ranch girl thingy? “Do you love the animals you raise?” kinda thing???

• LEVEL ONE CHA RIDER! OH YEAHHHH!!!

  • For those of you who don’t know, being “Level One” in the Certified Horsemanship Association is basically like … being able to saddle up and walk and trot in the direction you want to go without running into anything.
  • And not kill the horse, too.
  • It’s super lame.
  • HOWEVER … I am confident I could be Level 2 if not 3 if I was given the test! I just haven’t worked with a certifiable instructor in over three years. Or four. *not really sure*

• Horses hasn’t been “a phase” yet.

  • If so, this is a 17-year phase because as far back as I can remember, I loved horses.
  • I think a phase needs to be less than the time you’ve been alive to be a phase, y’all.

• Thankfully, writing isn’t a phase, either!

  • I’ve done the math (informally), and if I was writing since I was seven (which I believe I was), then I have been writing for … TEN YEARS!
  • HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WRITING TO ME!
  • HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WRITING TO ME!
  • HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WRITING, DEAR KELLY!
  • HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WRITING TO ME!

• Hard to calculate how long I’ve been writing seriously …

  • Now, if you count it from the time I finished Midnight & Twilight (I was 11), then about six years.
  • BUT … it’s more like five years if you count it from the time I finished The Dressmaker’s Secret.
  • (If you count Heirs to the Trunk as serious, then … 4.5 years???)
  • However, I’ve always intended to be published and rich and famous, so maybe I have been writing seriously for ten years. *shrugs* Depends on how you calculate it.
  • Of course, at first I thought I’d be rich and famous as a poet …
  • Which I still will be one day. Of course. 😝

• I actually started some businesses online?

  • Cover design & interior formatting.
  • Blog Tour Hosting.
  • Even mentorship!
  • I’m so excited about these!!! Can’t wait to work with more amazing writers!

• I’ve actually become a much worse person???

  • If you were an ISTP, you would understand why I’m listing this under accomplishments. I respect all extreme efforts.
  • I have made an extreme effort at being … bad.
  • As my parents have told me repeatedly, puberty was not kind, and I am kinda a little brat???
  • But, thankfully, there is Jesus Christ and grace. Or else I would be stuck in the 8th circle of Hell (e.g. disagreeable about everything & generally grumpy & doesn’t get along with people but especially my family).
  • (Also, I just made up an eight Cardinal Sin, which I think is a sin. I think.)

• Looking back to my last birthday …

  • Apparently I was pretty unhappy because MY DOG WAS DYING and NONE OF MY BIRTHDAY PLANS WERE GOING RIGHT (and the same goes for my birthday before that).
  • This one was significantly better, probably because I hadn’t built it up in my mind (too busy!) so I was like, “This is chill.”
  • I am going to go to a lake with my friends BY OURSELVES (#adultingchildishly) AND I’M TAKING JAMES (or Dumas, as I call him here sometimes) BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHY … I JUST AM! AND WE SHALL SWIM AND CELEBRATE ME.
  • (I am starting to actively hate myself as I write this post.) (Wow, does Kell thing of anyone but Kell???)

• I think I’ve gotten more humble and yet less humble???

  • Like, I usually back down about things a lot more easily now (with friends/coworkers/online, mostly), but at the same time …
  • I wrote this post?
  • I may need a therapist.

• I have learned to procrastinate professionally.

  • Like, seriously.
  • I need a badge or something.
  • I can lead the procrastinators in doing … nothing.

• Discovered YouTube.

  • I mean that as a bad thing.

• Found my new favorite poem!

  • “Lizzie Borden took an axe / Gave her mother forty hacks / When she saw what she had done / Gave her father forty-one!”
  • It’s oddly addicting. Try saying it. Maaayyyybeee while jump-roping.
  • I’ve developed a weird taste for learning murder stories recently.
  • I don’t even know. *shrugs*
  • ALSO, Y’ALL, JACK THE RIPPER COULD STILL BE OUT THERE!
  • I mean, he’s obviously dead by now.
  • But so are all my characters.
  • So just sit there and think about THAT for a moment.
  • (That made no sense.)

• My sister is sleeping in the room next to mine while she visits, and I keep forgetting she’s there and getting scared by the “creepy sounds.”

  • Which is a roundabout way of saying, “I’m a dweeb.”

• And … I think that’s about it!

  • I wrote a lot of this on the night before my birthday, and now it’s the evening of my birthday (e.g. last evening as you are now).

Extremely. Important. Announcements.

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?

At Her Fingertips is on sale on Amazon for just $0.99 for a couple more days!

BIG EVENT?!?!?!

I’m having a big event next week! More info shall follow Saturday … but suffice to say it will include a giveaway and lots of posts.

Yes, this event is 100% spontaneous.

I’ll fill you in on more details later, but … I will say it’s a bookworm event, not an author event. So though I’m giving away SOME merch for At Her Fingertips (#quotes #bookmarks), it’s mostly for readers not writers.

Which is a side of myself I don’t pander often enough, if I’m honest. Too much writing, too little reading.

Also ... I edited 131 pages (10 point text) of Beyond Her Calling which I printed out on Saturday. Yes. Within like 12 hours. And then I put all those computers onto the document Sunday (mostly).

I am so dedicated. 😂

I’ve decided on my NaNo novel which is only a plot bunny right now. Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me.

It’s called “Word of Honor,” and the idea is towards the end of my work-in-progress page. Help. Help. Help.

And … I think that’s about it. Not super important stuff, but stuff to look forward to!

And it’s 10:48, it’s been a long day, and I am too tired to come up with questions. So I dare you to respond to this post without questions. Like you have to do on other blogs. 😑

I pamper y’all.

TTFN!

~Kellyn Roth~

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