Why Last Minute Romance Cheats Readers – Part II: Myths & Facts (Blog Collaboration with H.S. Kylian)

Hello everyone!

Welcome to Lilacs & Reveries where once again, H.S. Kylian and I are talking about romance to celebrate February, Valentine’s Day, and the novels that feature romantic relationships, so let’s dive into this month’s collabs and what you can expect.

The posts in question are titled: 

• Why Last Minute Romance Cheats Readers – Part I
• Why Last Minute Romance Cheats Readers – Part II: Myths & Facts (⇦ you are here)
• Forced vs. Organic Romance
• Why ‘You Complete Me’ Is Nonsense
• Under-Discussed Topics In Romance Novels

For today’s post, you can find part 1 over on Hannah’s blog here, so make sure you read that one before hopping back to finish part 2!

I’ll be sharing my thoughts in this color, and Hannah will be sharing her thoughts in this color.

Without further ado, here are the “myths” about the last-minute romance.

Myth: Readers want the character to be married with kids at the end, so I have to include it even if it doesn’t really fit the story!

Fact: Just because I (Kell) want this doesn’t mean everyone does! 😉 I do love to see a happily married couple with a couple kids at the end because that’s my happily ever after. That said, I acknowledge that it is not EVERYONE’S happily ever after. There are many blessings to remaining single!

Further, it’s worth considering the individual character and even the plot. Just because they’re not together in the epilogue doesn’t mean they won’t eventually find someone to settle down with! We don’t have to leave our characters with EVERYTHING in their life resolved, tempting as that might be for a variety of reasons.

The truth is, even if you believe a happily ever after with kids and a mini van is ideal (like I do!) and even if that’s what your characters would want, if you haven’t in some way set up either their desire for marriage or children or both, it can feel a little cheap. Because our focus is on romance, I’ll specifically say that unless you take the time to show a solid foundation of friendship with a hint of something more (the chemistry, the ease with each other, perhaps even the attraction if age appropriate), the romance at the end just won’t make any sense!

Myth: It takes a LOT of work to write a romantic subplot, so I’d have to basically overhaul my story if I wanted to make it effective.

Fact: Oftentimes romance is tied up in the little things. If you add a few little things, your reader will probably catch on. Just make sure they’re not completely platonic, or if they are, it’s clear there’s something more there!

Here are a few ideas, some of which are very obvious and some of which are more subtle!

• A quick glance. Holding eye contact longer than necessary.
• Blushing, stuttering, generally being flustered. Laughing at all their dumb jokes! Or being the only one who shares their unique sense of humor.
• Attraction! This can be as simple as noticing details that the character normally wouldn’t—her hair is pretty, his eyes are this fantastic green, she wore a different dress today. It can be more obvious, too, but a little goes a long way. You can decide how much or how little you want to include, or do none at all if you want to keep it more subtle.
• Attraction … but to non-physical traits. Admiration, respect, pride, praise!
• A stolen touch to someone’s hand or a reassuring hug or back pat.
• Turning to someone first in joy or fear or grief.
• Putting them first.
• Protectiveness.
• Maybe even a hint of jealousy, if it’s appropriate and if it’s addressed properly.
• Getting emotional (even if it’s a little out of character, per their normal!) when the other character is harmed or in danger.
• Making plans together for the future or including each other in their separate planning. Perhaps even referencing a life together when “this is all over.”

And a lot of others!

Myth: Every character ever needs to be married right now or else I’ll die.

Fact: You okay, buddy?

Okay, okay, I get it. I was the kid who used to get all my animal toys out and carefully line up the daddy, mommy, and baby. Stuffed animals, figurines of all types, PlayMobil, and LEGO were not safe my from my matchmaking. My characters still aren’t safe from my matchmaking. (Ask me sometime if I know who someone is marrying, even if they’re a baby who was born two seconds ago in the storyline and hasn’t existed in a full length novel and maybe never will, and I know. I always know.)

That said, I know I’m obsessive about families and children. What’s your excuse?

In all honesty, since I write romance, this is less of a concern. I can write characters falling in love, getting married, staying married, and making lots of babies! But if you don’t write romance, or don’t write it as a main genre for whatever reason, ask yourself why you feel like this.

Is it peer pressure? What are you really gaining by writing something you clearly don’t want to invest time into? Or perhaps a marketing tactic? Do you hope to snag those fangirls? (YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE.) Basically, if it doesn’t make sense for the story, cut it.

Myth: Because I don’t write romance as a genre, it’s okay if my romances aren’t very good or aren’t developed.

Fact: Romance matters. It just does. I think Hannah and I have said this before, but we’re all technically the result of a romance. Romance is a God-created, good thing!

Hannah: You wouldn’t want real people rushing into a romance in real life—you want them to get to know each other, don’t you? So why can’t you do the same for your characters? Why skip over the development? Why act like romance is more of a dessert and not meat?

Speaking of meat, I do hate it when people act like romance can’t be meaty. Like, have you even read what the Bible says about marriage? There is so much theological meat to be found in places like Genesis 2:22-24 (which is commonly quoted at weddings), the entirety of Song of Solomon, Proverbs 31, Matthew 19:4-6 (also quoted at weddings), Ephesians 5 (and yes this one is quoted at weddings too!), and many more!

Why are we acting like we can’t implement the richness, the weightiness of marriage, with all its theological implications, into fiction? Do we really value marriage like we say we do when we act like romance isn’t anything more than butterflies and fireworks? 

Oh sure, it’s easy to misrepresent marriage. It’s easy to get caught up in one aspect or another. For example, I see people complain all the time about authors who seem to write romances that are all about the physical attraction, and though I do understand the complaint, what I don’t understand is that the solution people are implementing seems to be getting rid of physical attraction entirely (which I think borders dangerously close to Gnosticism, if it isn’t already!), and only focusing on the emotional and spiritual attraction. Might I suggest the actual solution is to balance the three instead?

Myth: Because my characters are minors (teenagers), it would be inappropriate to show them displaying any “chemistry,” feelings of attraction, or other things that might herald a coming romance. I have to save it for the epilogue!

Fact: For the thousandth time, repeat after me: you can (and should!) write romance without making it dirty, and you can wisely choose how much to include to be suitable not only for your characters’ ages, life experiences, and personality, but also for your audience.

You should also know that you don’t have to show a lot of physical attraction, “tingles,” blushing, stuttering, sweating palms, or heart palpitations to show that two characters are compatible and hint that they may have a future together. You can do that, but there are other ways! Showing that two characters get along well together, have developed a legitimately healthy relationship, and are interested in a future together can be done without all of the above.

Hannah: Ooh, I can bring up Jonathan & Nicki from my Woodsman series as an example! In the current (and final) canon, they meet as kids and obviously, there’s no physical attraction. 

By the time they’re in high school, it’s clear they’re somewhat sweet on each other, but there’s really no physical attraction just yet. Maybe they’re thinking the other is cute but that’s about it. Mostly at that point in time, it’s merely them noticing the other’s traits and wondering if the other likes them as more than a friend. 

It isn’t until after they graduate that the physical attraction begins to seed, however, it won’t come to fruition until a few years later, when she comes back to Marigold Hills and they realize the other is no longer a boy/girl, but a man/woman. 

Further, if you’re uncomfortable with all of these things, it’s possible your characters may be as well. Think of how your convictions would lead you to pursue a dating/courtship relationship at the age your characters are. If it’s simply “be friendly and give God those daydreams,” write about that! If it’s “let them know you’d be interested in pursuing them when the war is over,” write that. You don’t have to write your romance traditionally, especially if you’re not writing romance as the main plot! Write something unique and true to your experiences. That’s better than writing nothing at all.

Hannah: Jonathan & Nicki’s romance is kind-of a mix between second chance and falling in love for the first time. Like sure, the attraction was there, but they didn’t exactly love each other in the romance sense. They loved each other as brother and sister in Christ and as friends, but they hadn’t quite reached the romance stage…yet. 

Hence, when Nicki comes back to Marigold Hills, and they begin interacting with each other again, getting to know all the ways they’ve changed as a person, etc., that’s when they actually fall in love. 

Another thing to consider: does your YA novel really need to add romance if you weren’t comfortable putting it in the book itself? Maybe it’s best leaving that to those who are eager and equipped to write romantic relationships. This is not to say romance is not appropriate in young adult fiction, but if you’ve just included it for the sake of including it, or to feed a fandom, it’s probably best left for others.

In conclusion, romance is a genre that requires a little time. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, but it does deserve the respect as is fitting for a relationship ordained by God.

Catch us next week with more fun romance how-tos and opinions! We can’t wait to see you there!

TTFN!

~Kell~

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