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Vote for Me! ~all your wildest dreams will come true~

by Kellyn Roth |
August 25, 2016


Some of you may have noticed this page. That’s right, guys. They’re electing the queen (or king) of the bloggers, essentially … only democratically … so, yep, time to elect me your president!
How to do that? Well, it’s all explained in better detail here, but basically, you go to this page, read my promises, and tell me how many you like. There are twenty-five, so you can comment something like 15/25 (or 25/25 …) to let me know how many you like. Please comment on that page only … comments here won’t be counted!

Anyway, here are my promises. 🙂

~ 25 Reasons You Should Elect Me ~

  1. I will make all your wildest dreams come true. slight Napoleon Dynamite reference …
  2. I’ll give you a thousand dollars each. Not. Even. Kidding.
  3. Puppies will hear-by be free and available at every corner drugstore.
  4. I’m also offering horses for free. Along with all the equipment you’ll need to take care of one.
  5. From now on, you’ll never have to worry about anything. That’s right. Because I’m replacing you at your jobs with no robots! You’ll get to move to Miami and get that tan you always wanted.
  6. College will be free from now on.
  7. Cheez-its will be provided to anyone who learns to do a somersault.
  8. Those silly rules about removing your mask before entering a bank will be changed.
  9. From now on, you’ll be allowed to take loose candy into a movie theater without hiding it in your purse.
  10. Schools will come with special ‘homework dispensers.’ If you can’t do your homework, no problem! Just feed a dime into these machines and your homework will appear. In your own handwriting, none-the-less.
  11. Homeschoolers will be offered a special button that they can push anytime they want a break. The instant that button is pushed, one of your mom’s dearest friends will get a sudden urge to call your mom. #instantrecess
  12. Upon voting for me, you will instantly be transported to Narnia.
  13. When in Narnia, you will meet Aslan and have a fantastical adventure.
  14. You and Lucy will be BFFs.
  15. Caspian will totally crush on you.
  16. You’ll get to ride Jewel. And Bree. And Hwin. And Fledge.
  17. 50 followers will automatically be added to your blog. They’ll be active followers, who like, comment, and reblog, sharing your site with everyone they know and random people off the street.
  18. You will publish a book. It will be a New York Time’s bestseller. You will be adored.
  19. Whatever you’ve been struggling with right now will suddenly cease to be a struggle.
  20. All your friends will give you candy. Like, all the time. So … a constant stream of candy.
  21. Which basically means your friends will love you to death after this. For some reason.
  22. You remember that book you published? Well, they’re calling for a movie. You get to write the script, choose the cast, and basically be the director. You can also act the main character.
  23. Your movie will be a huge hit. You will become a famous superstar.
  24. You’ll also become a famous music artist. Even if you have a bad voice or can’t play an instrument to say your life, you’ll suddenly become awesome.
  25. And … world peace. If you vote for me, there will be world peace.

Spread the word about election day and point them to my blog! *evil laughter* *claps hand over mouth* I mean … *cheerful, happy laughter* *like a good person …* *kisses babies* *hands out money*
~Kellyn Roth

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