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Moanings of a Brain Dead Teen

by Kellyn Roth |
April 17, 2017

Yesterday was Easter, and now we have a very light week of school as my dad’s on vacation (#homeschoolcool). And let me tell you, I need it.
My mind is a lot of spinning cogs and gears, all whirling a hundred miles a minute. When you throw in algebra mixed with shapes, ancient languages mixed with translation sheets, animals mixed with science, and add a generous dose of history, government, grammar, and essays, the cogs stop spinning.
I’m not joking. This is not a test. My brain is dead.
I bet by now you’re going, “Well, you didn’t really need a brain anyway ….” Think again. I need my brain. I use it for important stuff. I use it for unimportant stuff, too, but that’s besides the point.
I’d like to blame this brain collapse on school (specifically school subjects made of a combination of two things that should never go together), but I can’t. There are other things that contributed to this cerebral malfunction. What are they?


  • Writing

This isn’t a huge surprise, but writing Once a Stratton is stressing me out. It’s not because I’m failing, though. Actually, I upped my goal to 20,000 on the 13th when I exceeded my original goal of 15,000.

I’m also pretty pleased with what I’ve written. My favorite part so far has been, without a doubt, Chris. Lilli’s husband is the best. For instance, this little exchange:

    Chris nodded. “I smell like a girl.”
I leaned over and sniffed. “You do not. You just smell like soap.”
“Soap, girl … what’s the difference.”
“Anyone can smell like soap.”
“Any girl.”
I dropped my head into Peter’s hair. “Peter smells like soap.”
“He’s eighteen months old.”
“That doesn’t change anything.”
“Well, what do you want to smell like?” I demanded.
“I don’t know. But not like a girl.”

What a goof, am I right?
But, despite all that, I haven’t been able to write much for the last several days. My inspiration has waned. However, May Everly wrote a post about how to keep writing, and I’m going to try some of suggestions.


  • Reading

I want to be reading North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell, but I got distracted by library books and review copies that I’m supposed to be reading. Well, was supposed to be reading several months ago.
So yes, reading is stressing me out. I feel like I should be reading the classic, but the review copies are pressing, and how can one resist a beautiful library book? Whenever I’m reading one book, I get a nagging feeling that I should be reading a different book.
Alternately, I feel like I should be writing or blogging or editing/revising … or even just spending some time outside before more rain clouds cover the sky.
The guilt is real, people.


  • Editing/Revising

As you know, I’m supposed to be working on Ivy Introspective and The Dressmaker’s Secret. Well, I’m not. At least not as much as I should be.
Right now I have several beta-readers reading over IvIn, and I’m still working on the revisions of TDS. TDS is especially giving me some trouble, as it is the work of my stupid younger self (not that you can’t write if you’re younger, but that I couldn’t).
And it is driving me absolutely mad!


  • Blogging

Even with just one post a week on Reveries, I’ve still got two on Reveries Reviews.
And, furthermore, I promised my readers over on RR (acronyms are awesome) that I’ll be amazing from now on. And I literally can’t think of some amazing book-related things to post about. (Ideas, anyone?)
Just so you know, I’ll probably be returning to two or three posts a week in May. Also, there will be a blog tour in June. Just thought you ought to know … because it’s gonna be  a big deal. Huge giveaways, shameless self-promotion, etc.


  • Clarinet

This is technically not school … so …
Anyway, I have not been practicing enough. And thinking about practicing has kilt my little brain. Just kilt it. Like, it is now wearing a traditional Scottish man-skirt.
My poor mind.


  • Bible (and other Christian stuff)

No matter how hard I try, I can’t become a perfect Christian. Which is quite worrying. I don’t read the Bible as regularly as I’d like. I forget to pray. I haven’t done any resplendent good deeds recently. I don’t even enjoy church that much. I probably deserve the hell-fires …
Okay, I know, I know. There’s no such thing as a perfect Christian (or a perfect human), and I should just chill.
Well, the thing that many miss (or overdo; it depends) is that if you’re a Christian, you should also be changed (through Jesus in your heart, etc.). So … I should be a better person because I am a Christian (though not because that’s gonna save me or anything; on the contrary, nothing you can do actually changes whether or not you go to hell).
Anyway, yep. ‘Tis stressful.


  • Family and Friends

No matter what I do, I always feel like I don’t spend enough time with my family and friends. Particularly my family. Well, not my parents and siblings. I actually wish I spent less time with them (JK). More my extended family … my grandparents, primarily.
But when I’m with my family/friends all I can think of is what I should be doing. In fact, no matter what I do, I can’t think of anything except other stuff I should be doing right now and how I can do it and why I haven’t done it and if I’m about to explode or I just ate too much Easter candy. (I can never decide which …)

Well, that’s it. Those are all the things that made my brain stop working. So now I’m brain-dead. And having no brain? Not fun. Not fun at all …
Was this just an author/blog/life update disguised as me complaining?

~Kellyn Roth~

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How do you revive your brain when it dies? Are there things in your life right now that are causing cerebral malfunction? Can you eliminate them or are they necessary?

How was your Easter? Did you collect a cache of candy? (I know I did!) How does your family celebrate Easter? Do YOLO, or have you realized yet that YOLOUYHJ? #shamelessGodpromotion

What do you think of my thoughts?

46 Responses

  1. Aw, I’m sorry that you’re stressed. :/ I do know how that feels, and I’ll pray for you. In fact, this weekend was stressful for me, too. My sister and her husband and son came for Easter, and my little nephew is staying today, although his parents left. When you have a less-than-two-year-old boy running around a less-than-child-proof house, sometimes it’s hard. As a result, a major sacrifice that has been made is sleep. 😛
    My not-so-professional advice is to spend time with God first, and everything should fall into place. It’s a little simple, but when you trust Him, it takes away much of the stress. 🙂

  2. How do you revive your brain when it dies? are you kidding? i don’t. Are there things in your life right now that are causing cerebral malfunction? yes… i decided to do a level FIVE clarinet solo and i am not good enough for this and im going to fail. :)) Can you eliminate them or are they necessary? i really dont want to lose 30 dollars…
    How was your Easter? pretty good! i went to my fav restaurant. Did you collect a cache of candy? (I know I did!) YEP. IT WAS AWESOME. peeps!
    acronyms are awesome!!

            1. Yeah, they’re crazy expensive! My friend keeps telling me that I’m using my reeds incorrectly … and apparently I should be using 3s like a professional and I’m only using 2 1/2s?! I’m like, “Let’s not make this any harder than it is …” 😉

              1. ikr i literally just started using threes and for a while they were so much harder but now they’re easier and i cant even tell anymore. between books and reeds i am going to go broke!

                1. My parents are currently financing my reeds (unless I break them … which happens … probably more often than is normal), so I’m not going to go broke … but yes, I know what you mean!

  3. I’d love to give you some awesome advice on how to recover from brain-deadness, but I am afraid that I am a sufferer of this, too. With essays to write, tests to prepare for, and blogging, along with that other thing I have to do, oh what was it called? Oh yeah, LIFE! I can’t seem to get everything done!
    My only advice is to keep the mindset that this won’t and can’t last forever. There’s a deadline for brain-deadness and you will eventually recover with time. That’s the best I can think of, sorry!
    P.S. Maybe the Easter candy will help with brain-deadness with all that sugar?
    – Megan Joy

    1. I know the feeling well! But yes, I assume that this must end … I mean, I’ve only got a test and four more lessons of geometry and then Latin will eventually end as so will biology … and then I’m supposedly going to be done writing and editing and stuff soon. (right …?)
      Maybe! Although it might just lead to lethargic unhealthiness … 😉

  4. So even though I got the notification, my heart jolted when I saw my name. XDD And omggggg WAHT 15K BY THE 13TH??? *wails* I’ll never write the full 50K for NaNo. XD And agh! Writing is super stressful. And so is editing! I look forward to printing it all out and scribbling all over it, buuuuuut THE PAIN. And haha, I still feel bad about not beta-ing for IvIn. 🙁 Blogging is super stressful sometimes! It’s taking over my time with family, which MUST change. Loved this post!

    1. Haha, well, I was just being silly … although, yes, I definitely am brain dead. 😛 (Oh, and take all the time you want with beta-ing IvIn! Not in a big hurry.) I don’t even spend a lot of time blogging, and it still stresses me out!

  5. Nice bolding of random words! 😉
    Haha, and yeah, my brain has been dying for a long time now. There are so many things that I want to do! But I’m afraid that you probably react a little worse than I do. I just do whatever I want and it’s only afterward that I go “I should’ve done this and this and this…”. Whereas you have to go through that pain while doing it. 🙂
    I agree with Hanna’s advice to put God first in your life. And then–prioritize! I’m actually really bad at this so…if you don’t know how to do it, me neither! 😛 But anyway, choose which thing you want/need to do first (after God, of course). And then do that.
    Or just be like me and do whatever strikes your fancy and try not to feel bad about it. 😛 Gosh, I’m no help, except for commiserating ’cause do you even know how behind I am in Camp NaNo? (I’ll give you a hint: really behind.)

    1. Bolding random words is effective. Kinda. XD
      I’m definitely gonna be prioritizing.
      I’m considering leaving the blogosphere entirely for the next month or so and setting everything else I can think of aside. Right now I really need to prioritize school, clarinet, TDS, and IvIn … but I really just can’t seem to! No matter how hard I try, I always feel like I’m not accomplishing stuff. :/

      1. Gahhh, I understand. I basically left the blogosphere this month and I didn’t really accomplish things (but that’s mainly because I didn’t have a plan…I was just procrastinating). Maybe we both need to make a plan for accomplishing lots of things…any ideas?

          1. Ooh, I like the idea of rewards! 😉 Hehe, but dividing monthly goals into daily goals is a good idea… that would probably help me to accomplish more of my dares and stuff.

            1. I’ve tried the whole bullet journal thing. I don’t know how that’s going to work for me, but I’m trying it. It will likely be dropped within a matter of weeks, though … I’m just not good at this kind of thing.

                1. It’s like a journal … and then you draw lines into it … and make a bunch of little boxes … and then you color the boxes in different colors … like red for failed or green for succeeded. And … the boxes are … things you need to do … quite frankly, this is difficult to explain. XD

  6. Haha, I feel ya. Life’s REALLY crazy right now … and … *sigh* But they say that it always gets better, right?? Or is that something that people say just to make you feel better… Whatever the case, bad times in life (including your brain being dead, because that kinda sucks) only make the good seem even better, right? Right???? 🙂
    (Also, I never get any candy for Easter. ALTHOUGH, my dad always gets each kid a flower plant – we all like gardening – and I GOT A FREAKING LEMON TREE. It’s cool. 😛 )

  7. Aw kell!!! *pets kell* *gives kell my brain* *kell turns into me* *and becomes a weirdo*
    Yeah so I wish I could….identify with u but my brain is like…it doesnt die or whatever….idk is that a good thing?

    1. *gives Bay’s brain back* Thanks, but it wasn’t working for me. All that space … I just don’t know what to do with it! 😛 #slamsbestfriend
      Maybe it was never alive to begin with … #slamsbestfriendagain

  8. You may be trying to do too much. Why not try concentrating on one or two things and putting the others on the back burner … making notes, doing something on them but not much … and rotate things around a little?

    1. That seems like a good idea, but I can rarely convince myself to do that kind of thing. Plus I have deadlines on several of my projects. But thanks for the advice. 🙂

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