Dear Christian Girls: Don’t Wait!
All over the internet, there are articles and articles about being patient during “a season of waiting.” Waiting … waiting for what?
Not all of the articles are necessary geared this way, but they all have the same undertone – waiting for a husband.
And I take issue with that! I’ll get into the “why” in this post.
It’s not that I have a thing against marriage. I mean, gosh, a lot of the people I respect most were/are married. 😅 (Not all of them – one of my bosses comes to mind; I respect her a lot.)
No, it’s not that at all. In fact, quite the opposite – I think marriage is something that God has planned for a lot of people to bless them.
I think many (if not most women) are made to be wives and mothers – and there’s nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with feeling frustrated because you haven’t found “Mr. Right.”
However, I don’t think it’s the thing that should fulfill you – nor do I think it’s the end goal every girl should aspire to.
Basically, I believe it’s quite sad that girls consider any period when they’re not in a relationship with a man “a season of waiting.”
Because you know what? There’s more to you than your ability to be married or not.
And yes, that sounds like feminist nonsense, and that’s not something I’m for. I don’t believe women are better than men, nor do I believe that we need to all rebel against expectations and have careers – some of us don’t want/need to!
But I do believe that women are perfectly capable of having lives outside of being a wife and mother … and that we shouldn’t wait for Mr. Right to come around.
It’s sad to say otherwise.
God Didn’t Make Us to Wait
It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, slave or free, Jew or Gentile, married or unmarried …
God didn’t make us to be passive beings who sit around all day doing nothing!
In fact, just the opposite. God commands us …
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)
NOT FOR MEN, girls. 😜 Not because some day you may be a wife.
And yes, I know that’s not the meaning of the verse, but what I mean to say is, if you make your focus and your goal “marriage,” something that requires a man’s cooperation, you’re not going to get anywhere.
You can’t be passive.
“For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10
Look, if all you’re doing is “waiting” for a man to come around and sweep you off your feet, you’ve got it all wrong!
That’s not what God wants for you! He wants you to accomplish great things NOW. You don’t have to wait until you’re married to glorify God.
You should wait on the Lord. But you shouldn’t wait on a man.
Look … here’s a shocker for the ages: you might not get married!
It’s not because there’s something wrong with you or God doesn’t love you or anything like that.
It’s just because some people don’t get married … and that’s okay!
You might be “waiting” forever. So figure out something to do with your life! Unless God has parted the clouds and whispered the name of your intended in your ear, you can’t be sure.
Men/marriage are probably the easiest idol for women to worship.
Examine your heart. The idea of being married may be your idol!
I’m as guilty as this as any woman, I imagine. Of course some day I would like to be married and have kids! (mostly kids, haha; kids are great)
But that can’t be my main plan because, well, much as I’d like it to be a guarantee, I might not get married … and then where am I?
Besides, a man isn’t going to make me happy! Maybe he would, but that’s a transparent, earthly sort of happiness.
God is the only thing that can make you happy (with that unending joy that you want and need!).
So give up everything else, because you can’t guarantee it, you can’t keep it if you do get it, and it won’t make you happy if you do get it!
The Fulfillment Lie
For some reason, us Christian girls are fed the lie that the only way we can be fulfilled and happy is through marriage.
But this is NOT true! Being content in God is the only way anyone can be fulfilled and happy.
It’s a lie that being a wife and mother is the only way a woman can find contentment in God, too. You can find joy in so many other things!
I think this also puts forth the lie, “If you’re married, all your problems will be solved.”
You won’t be discontent or frustrated or angry anymore. For some reason.
That’s not true. None of your problems are going to go away if you’re married! If anything, you’re just aggravating them by forcing your husband to take them on, too.
Married Women Aren’t Holier
Of course, it’s good and godly to be married, have children, submit to your husband, etc.
But nowhere is it written, “If thou does not marry, thou is an unworthy creature in Mine sight.”
Nope. There are even passages when we’re encouraged to remain single if we can (or at least in certain circumstances).
So, in a way, I do want you to rebel.
Don’t rebel against womanhood, don’t rebel against God, and don’t rebel against your parents or other trusted mentors.
DO rebel against the idea that your only purpose is to get married!
I figure this post won’t be super popular among many of you, but *sigh* comment below with your thoughts and opinions!