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I Hate That I Love Pink

by Kellyn Roth |
March 23, 2019

I hate that I love pink.

Flowers, kittens, and puppies. Baby animals. It annoys me that my whole room is pastels and stuffed animals and dolls. I hate that I don’t just love stark things.

And I have fairies lining my ceiling and crystals on my lacy curtains.

I love romances. That I like reading a good story about a couple falling in love—especially if some drama is involved.

Why does that bug me?

These are all normal things for a girl to love, aren’t they, after all? The things girls are supposed to love.

I guess that’s part of why I hate it. I want to be a super tomboy—but I can’t fit the tomboy stereotypes.

Yes, stereotypes are there for a reason—but people are people, not stereotypes, and they’re way more complicated than the average

You can be tough as nails and still love pink, playing with dolls, and reading romance novels.

The thing is, I have reasons I love romance and family drama and all that good feeling stuff. It’s because, well, I don’t naturally take time to process my emotions by myself … and reading and writing books really helps me with that.

I love playing with dolls because it was fun imagining being a mother someday, something that I’ve always wanted (even though I doubt it’ll happen because marriage looks hard).

And I love pink because I love pink. Pink is cool.

I believe that everyone is different. There are tons of girls who are traditionally girly but don’t love pink.

Now, I would consider myself a bit of a tomboy. I love sports and the great outdoors and dogs. I’m not a fan of overthinking, prefer logic over emotion, and simple over complicated. Generally, I love “gross” things like bugs and frogs. I’m not afraid to get dirty. The smell of cow manure actually makes me happy. I have watched a calf I bottle-fed be shot, butchered, and then ate it—and it doesn’t bug me.

I don’t really care for emotions in the real world and find them bothersome, and I dislike when people bring up philosophy. Often I base my “instincts” off the real world and what I can touch and feel, not off random feelings which mean nothing.

People are more crazy and wonderful than a stereotype.

There are multiple sides to every person. I may just show you one of my sides … or maybe I’ll show you a lot of them!

I wrote this post for two reasons—first, to express my distaste for people telling me I’m girly because I love girly things (yeah, I’m pretty girly, but that’s not all there is to me—“no blood, no guts, no game”). And second, because I wanted to stretch my “intuitive side” (it doesn’t exist, haha) and see if I could write something more … abstract.

It’s not working, but oh well.

Basically, let people be who they are. Quit trying to box them up. You can be more than one stereotype, you can fit no stereotypes, or perhaps basically everything about you is girly-girl or a tomboy or a nerd.

That’s cool. Be you. Don’t let it be a competition—“who’s the most tomboyish?” or “who is the nerdiest?” That gives others the power to determine what you are as you try to be more like the stereotype and less like yourself.

There’s only one Being in this universe Who gets to say, “Hey, don’t be like that.” God.

Here’s one way of looking at it: I am naturally a very stubborn, independent person who doesn’t want to accept help from no one. That’s okay—some people are independent and stubbornness can be good as well as bad.

Now, if someone says, “You need to rely on people for everything because otherwise you won’t be fulfilled,” they’re wrong.

Independence doesn’t mean I have a fear of being controlled, necessarily or that I’m somehow emotionally scarred as some media likes to portray. It just means doing things by myself for myself is something that’s important to me.

I am an independent person, and God made me that way. It’s not a sin.

But there’s a flipside. God says, “Hey, Kell, you have to love on other people and support them, and sometimes I’m going to put people in your life to help you where you are helpless.”

In that case, it’s just my stubbornness keeping me from God’s best plans and gifts for me.

God doesn’t take away our individuality or stick us into a slot. He made us as different as spots on a giraffe or stripes on a zebra.

I used to think it was absolutely impossible that no two zebras would have the same stripe pattern. “Surely,” I thought, “we just haven’t discovered the two matching zebras that are out there.”

Nope. I now believe that God individually designs the stripes of a zebra’s hide to be different … and each of us is different in the same way.

Each of us are also tempted by sin in different ways because we are different in personalities and experience. But when God helps us move past our sin, He isn’t trying to move past that difference. The difference is God’s. The sin is just a blemish distorting our differences.

Now, I fear I’ve gone waaaaaayyyy too far in my efforts to be vaguely philosophical. But I just wanted to share some thoughts on individuality and true identity in Christ … and why I shouldn’t feel bad about loving pink.

How did this come up?

I was buying a case for my iPhone, I liked a rose-patterned one, but then I went, “Hold up—do you really want something that girly? Is that what you want people to think of you?”

No, it’s not—but it doesn’t matter. People will think what they will think. And, honestly, I don’t mind surprising people a little. “Yes, I do feel comfortable rolling around on the floor with this dog!” and “Of course I want to walk barefoot on this gravel road for half a mile.”

I thought I was pretty insusceptible to people’s opinions, but I guess not because I sure hesitated for a second. The other part, though, was, “can I live with myself if I buy that case?”

But … the case I was looking at was the wrong size, anyway. So. That was useless.

In conclusion, I shouldn’t hate that I love pink. I should just embrace it. It’s a color like any other, and people have favorite colors, and that’s cool.

I’m not any one type of person. There are some girly-girl stereotype things I hate with a passion—squealing, crushes, emotional outbursts, and sensitivity make up the top of the list—but others that I am able to embrace.

So be yourself. Everyone else doesn’t want to be you. ?


~Kellyn Roth~

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If you’re female, would you consider yourself more of a girly-girl or a tomboy? Are there any “stereotypes” you’ve embraced – or ones you’d like to move away from? What are your thoughts on pink? Do you have a favorite color?

What do you think of my thoughts?

34 Responses

  1. This was neat…something I don’t usually think about. I’m an out-and-out tomboy and it’s never bothered me when people say so. Stereotypes just don’t faze me. Misunderstanding something dear to my heart is what gets me. But if you think I’m a tomboy because I’m wearing John Deere boots or I’m an introvert because I’m a writer…well, you’d be right. ? There’s some crazy stereotypes out there, but they usually just give us a good laugh unless they’re taken to an extreme.
    (My favorite color is purple, btw!)

    1. Right!? Some stereotypes are like, “Uhhh … no? We’re not a cult or whatever?” lollll People say some really weird things.

      Purple is great! It’s my third favorite color, lol. (Pink >> red >> purple, haha! Then blue …)

      But I figure as long as you’re just you, it doesn’t matter.

  2. This id such a great post! I always feel like people stereotype girls that like pink and ‘girly things’ and make them feel bad. I love being a tom boy but sometimes i just want to be girly without feeling weird. Like when i was little my friend (well not anymore lol) and her friends said that skirts were for babys and being a girly girl meant your stupid. And that kind of made me stop embracing girly stuff. But this post kind of really helped me and I can really relate 😀

    1. Yeah, I will occasionally wear a skirt even though I’m not comfy in them – and of course I love pink, haha. 😉 I think nowadays that “strong do-it-herself action figure female” is pushed and pushed … and that doesn’t describe everyone, for sure!

  3. I love this! So true. People are so amazingly complex, and that’s a good thing. You can’t tell everything about a person based on what you see on the outside.

    Growing up, I was the oldest granddaughter on both sides. I was given SO many dolls. My room until I was maybe ten or so was pastel pink with lace and roses. And once I grew old enough to care, I told myself I hated it. When was nine, I was growing up with three brothers. I liked playing outside, reading, crafts, playmobil, and outdoor games. I didn’t play with dolls; they sat on my bed alone. And I liked blue.

    However, I believe I didn’t let myself actually think if I truly hated pink or not. I just believed I did solely because of how pink is portrayed and because I felt girly things were just expected of me, and I didn’t match that. At thirteen, I declared my favorite color as hunter green and tried to become interested in all things hunting and outdoorsy because those were the types of things my brother and his friends liked. While I do very much enjoy the outdoors and while I definitely don’t regret the two years I did go hunting, much of the rest of it was put on in an attempt to portray myself a certain way to others.

    And during my teens I kept up the running, outdoor games, not being bothered by “gross” things, etc. I never enjoyed sewing, tea, candles, or other such things. I’ve always hated makeup and heels (still do :)). Meanwhile, I’ve always loved wearing long skirts and having long hair. I went through a childhood phase where I always wore a sun bonnet. I fell in love with writing at ten. I’ve always loved academics and research and grasped new things quickly. And I’ve always loved music (certain genres) and poetry…. basically, you can’t put me in a box either!

    But emotions? Growing up I was always very unemotional. I hated the girly stereotype. I didn’t dream of marriage or children; I had no patience with guy talk or crushes.

    And then I somehow actually got married. And had children. It’s been wonderful, but I still feel unique in my approach (long story, but for one thing, emotions are only one part, and not the most important one). Since marrying and especially since mothering, I’ve seen my emotional side coming out a lot more – and that’s okay. Do I sometimes wish I was still who I used to be? Yes. But I’m fine with both sides.

    All that said, I now do really enjoy pastel pink. Blue will always be my true favorite, but lavender, yellow, and light pink crowd in close by. Part of growing up has been freedom to objectively discover what I do enjoy most and not just what I want people to think about me or what fashion is.

    And as you said, it all comes down to our wondrous unique identity in Christ. We are each wonderfully individual image-bearers who carry His image into our little corner of the world!

  4. I’m a girly girl, but I was a tom boy once upon a time, so… My favorite color is blue, but a close second is pink. I’m not really any stereotypes because everyone thinks I’m super weird, but I guess my coworkers- besides thinking me weird- think I’m the epitome of Good Little Christian Girl, which I don’t mind.

  5. Wow! What a fun, engaging, and honest post! ❤️ Sooo…I do not consider myself a “tomboy”, but I do enjoy things that some girls would call weird. For one, I was the one who initiated wrestling matches with my younger bro for fun up until the age of 14; I owned oodles of dolls and baby dolls as a toddler and into kid-hood, but never really played with them. I always went for the stuffed animals and little figurines? I don’t mind getting dirty, I’ve worked 8-hour shifts for nearly an entire summer with the same brother at a pecan tree farm (very grueling in 100 degree weather and up; worked at the same place 8-hr shifts for a few days before that at the same place in single-digit weather?❤️)…but I really do enjoy girly things?? I like both grit movies/books and tactful romance…I tend to shy away from a lot of romance as I know for myself that I need to keep that side of my mind in more of a dormant state until the Lord wants me not to. My favorites are thrillers and adventures.
    As far as embracing different stereotypes, I used to dream of being the book nerd Anne of Green Gables and horse lover like National Velvet, but I was never really exposed to horses unless they were on movies and books…up until lately?
    And the color pink? My utmost favorite color is a whimsical, dreamy aquamarine (before I even knew it was my birthstone ?), but my favorite companion color for that is either light pink or coral.
    Now, I’m still a hyper-writer and book nerd. ? And I’d like to shy away from an overly prim-and-proper stereotype, though I don’t object to looking like a girl and dressing and behaving like one??

    1. And though I enjoy lots of different things, you’re right— identity isn’t found in things or looks or hobbies. It really is Jesus. And the best thing is to not TRY to shoot for a particular stereotype…just embrace Christ and who He designed you to be…and you’ll wind up looking a lot more like Him than anybody else or even *you*?❤️❤️
      Thanks for sharing, Kell!!

  6. I wouldn’t call myself a tomboy, but all my friends do…I don’t know what I am, but I don’t like the color pink, unless it’s a light blush, and it’s not too much of it.

  7. *wildly applauds this post* THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF.

    I’ve been wrestling with this a lot myself lately.

    It’s like, people wanna know how you define yourself. But they always make it an either-or question. They ask you if you’re a tomboy OR a girly-girl, if you’re feminine OR not-feminine, if you like dressing up OR if you don’t, if you’re emotional OR logical.

    My answer? I am none of those things.

    I am not feminine. I am not not feminine, either. My identity is a set of completely random, completely disparate traits & behaviors which don’t have to make sense to anybody but myself, and which CERTAINLY don’t have to fit into arbitrary stereotypes that y’all made up just because you don’t like people to be unknown quantities.

    So, yah. I’m with you, Kellyn. 😉

  8. Great great post!! I like books and writing too as it helps me process emotions and stuff I can’t myself. XD!

  9. My favorite color is pink. I love to watch basketball and baseball, ice skating and gymnastics. I loved to play punch ball when I was younger and to roller skate and have races with my friends to see who was the fastest.

  10. I really loved this post, Kellyn!! I typically really hate stereotypes (mostly because of what you said — everyone tries to fit themselves into tiny little boxes, and it just doesn’t work like that), but in some ways, I DO tend to fit the “messy, disorganized, slightly forgetful” creative mind stereotype, but since that’s just the kind of person I am, there’s nothing I can really do about it. In other instances, I’m as far from normal stereotypes as you can get. I’m a writer, but I HATE coffee and tea. I’m a tomboy and get really competitive against guys at games, but I love having my nails painted bright colors. I’m a whole mess of different things, and I think that’s the way people should be.

    ALSO! My favorite color (right now) is pale yellow!! But turquoise and soft orange are two other favorites…. And basically I just really enjoyed this entire post. You have some really good thoughts. <333

    1. Haha, nice! LOL, I’ve always wanted to fit the sort of … absent-minded artist … stereotype! 😉 That’d be fun! *is now considering doing a post called “top 5 stereotypes I really would like to be but ain’t” or something* *but no* *no more random*

      I actually wanted to be a bookworm when I was little and now I am! 😉

      Awwwww, thank you so much!

      1. OKAY BUT I WOULD TOTALLY READ THAT BLOG POST. XD And being absent-minded is a lot less fun than you would think. XD It’s kind of annoying most of the time, actually.

        Awwwww! That is perfect… Being a bookworm is the absolute best. We’re going to take over the world someday, as soon as we figure out how to tackle our TBRs. XD

  11. Fun fact: In the 1900s, mothers were advised to dress their boy babies in pink and their girls in blue, because pink is bright and bold and therefore more suitable for boys, while blue is pretty and dainty and thus better for girls. I find that fascinating… XD
    It’s funny, because I do consider myself a fairly girly girl. But I hate pink. It’s one of my least favorite colors. I like red, blue, and certain shades of green the best. XD
    Anyway, this was a great post! I agree; it really doesn’t matter what people think about you. God made you to be you, with all your quirks and oddities and inconsistencies. (“You”, by the way, is general, not “you” specifically. Just thought I should clarify. XD)

    1. Haha! Yeah, I actually knew about that. #randomresearchstuff It was mostly marketing and whatnot for boys and girls that started this new craze, methinks … or Idk. My friend had another theory but I forgot it.

      Thanks! Yeah, right, exactly!

  12. Wow, this is a really great post, Kellyn! You bring up some good points and I’m really glad that you seem to be quite in touch with your interests. I’ve always been baffled as to how the colour pink is supposedly girly. I just don’t get it; it’s a colour for crying out loud! ?

  13. *high fives* Good for you, realizing it’s okay to be more than one thing and that people will think what they think and it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change who you are and the only one who can and should change who you are is God! *runs out of breath* Wow, that was a run on sentence. :p But it needed to be said because sadly not everyone comes to that realization soon enough, and I’m proud of you.

    I’m a mixture of many things, too. We all are. I can be super girly and love dresses and then turn around and run in the backyard with the dog while wearing the sweat pants I really should have thrown away two years ago. Steryotypes? *shrug* When I was a kid I was a “typical” horse loving girl. Favorite color has been green for years but the carpet in my room is pink because I’ve lived in this house since I was 5 and pink was my favorite color then. :p My opinion of pink now is that I like it for fashion *owns two pink dresses and a pair of pink dress shoes*, not so much for home decor.

    1. That’s fantastic! Yeah, just be you. 😛 I have a list of things I desperately want to tell my children (even though I have no plans on getting married or having kids any time soon, lollll! Like, if I had ’em I’d tell ’em!) … and that’s one of them. That people are people outside of stereotypes … because God made you that way!

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