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I Am Sixteen (Goin’ On Seventeen)

by Kellyn Roth |
August 12, 2017

I Am Sixteen

Last year I did a post on my birthday which was mostly excited and random and unintelligible. I did some blog tags and then spouted a bunch of random ‘facts.’
However, there was also a ranty section at the bottom where I discussed how my birthday was going awry, how depressed I was, etc. And yes, it didn’t turn out like I’d planned, which was really sad.
However, I’ve decided not to be so poutyΒ (spellcheck says that’s not a word …) about my birthday this year.
This year, the DMV has decided to delay me getting my license until September 6th because it’s “busy.” (And yes, it probably actually is, but I’m pretending that the DMV is doing this on purpose just to break my heart.) And my dog is dying*.

*Which is true, but totally unrelated to my birthday.

However, I really need to stop whining when things go wrong. It’s a bad habit of mine. So … today I’m going to be positive.


Even though the DMV is going all crazy on me, that’s okay. I’m chill with it.* I mean, at first I was furiously angry (I’m still a little peeved), but I feel like if I’m mature enough to get a license I need to be mature enough to not let this ruin my special day.**

**What? You thought a girl’s “special day” was her wedding? Well, not for me. I actually dislike weddings with all their emotions and dysfunctional AC units.

What matters is that awesome stuff is going down*. Right here. Right now.

*And, y’know, cake + presents + awesome party with friends + cool party with family + etc.

First item on the list …

|Favorite Posts|

Before they realized I was talking about my birthday, not my blog’s birthday, some friends of mine suggested I talk my favorite blog posts.
And even though it’s not Reveries’s birthday, I’m going to go ahead and talk about some of my faves. Because I’m a #rebel
(And … these aren’t necessarily my all-time favorites. They’re just a couple posts that I remembered being proud of in these last couple months.)

Those aren’t really my all-time favorite posts. I don’t even know how many of them make the top ten. But … I’m on a bit of a time-rush. And it’s my blog. I can post links to random posts if I want …

|Things I’ve Learned|

I thought I should share some of the awesome things I’ve learned in my sixteen years I’ve existed on this earth. Granted, I haven’t learned a lot … but I feel like I need to share my little bits of wisdom with y’all.

  • Cartoons should not contain lessons. Unless that lesson is that if you shoot someone it won’t really hurt them. *nods*

  • Six-year-olds are sometimes better conversationalists than sixteen-year-olds. Like, seriously. They’re smarter and generally don’t talk about boys.

  • Accepting every review copy* sent to you is probably a bad idea. AAAAAH!!!

*I just came up with a great idea for a story! Picture this: an evil website collects ARCs from faithless bloggers and sells them to exorbitant prices to smitten fangirls!
  • Unless challenged, you probably should avoid shouting your opinions/beliefs. Even then, you should be gracious and kind, not shoving your own thoughts and feelings on certain subjects on other people.

  • Crying is totally underrated. I used to think crying was for weaklings only. But I was wrong. Teen girls should learn to cry to get their way. I haven’t mastered it yet, but someday … *wistful expression*

  • Border collies are so awesome that their awesomeness is just overwhelming awesome. #redundant

  • No one really deserves anything from anyone else except life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I just call it like I see it …

  • By the way, it was originally ‘life, liberty, and property.’ WHY COULDN’T THEY JUST LEAVE IT THAT WAY!?! You can’t define ‘the pursuit of happiness.’ Property, however? Yep. Pretty definable.

  • Boys just aren’t worth it until you’re older. Because I felt like I had to have some sort of an opinion on dating. I do want to date someday, but just not yet, y’know? (Ho, that’s not at all ’cause I just don’t know any boys who I’m remotely interested in … why do you ask such a silly question?)

  • A spanked child is a happy child. And I won’t hear your silly opinions about ‘violence not solving anything.’ It’s not violence. It’s a parent delivering due consequences to the little person they’ve been given the care of.

And yeah, that’s all I’ve learned except school stuff and things that aren’t that excited and have been said fifty times, like religious convictions and such.
And … yep. That’s all I’ve learned.*

*Okay, maybe it isn’t. Though I am pretty dumb sometimes … okay, most of the time …


Although I know you don’t believe me, I’ve accomplished lots of things in my sixteen years.* And I’m going to tell you about them.

*Lots may be a teensy-weensy bit of an exaggeration …
  • Written three 50K+ novels (TDS, IvIn, and AFOP), a novella (TLOTV), and a novelette (Flowers; I’m editing it, and it got longer!) as well as several short stories (I think six or seven, though I’m not going to give it serious thought) and dozens of poems.
  • Half-written a novel (Once a Stratton, 40K so far) and many, many, many other novels (which have been trashed/put away for later).
  • Published two novels and a novella.
  • Read at least 551 books; reviewed over 300 of those on Goodreads.
  • Published two blogs. Am still writing in them.
  • Kinda-sorta have a vlog? At least I tried, haha.
  • Survived 3 NaNoWriMos and 4 Camp NaNoWriMos.
  • Fluent in Looney Tunes.
  • Actually, fluent in a lot of different things that have no meaning …
  • #CartoonsHaveNoMeaning
  • #ButTheyreStillAwesome
  • Watched waaaay too much Rhett&Link, Studio C, and Film Theory.
  • Is just a little obsessed with the following fandoms:
  • Gone with the Wind (I can’t help it, okay? And I swear Scarlett O’Hara is me as an evil selfish brat who needs Jesus …)
  • Jane Austen (although … I don’t know, am I the only one who doesn’t like Sense and Sensibility as much?)
  • Downton Abbey (am I the only one who feels like Mary sometimes? Like an awesome ice queen?)
  • The Paradise (I actually am a little irritated with Moray and feeling bad for Katherine at the minute, though.)
  • Psych (*maintains eye-contact* *refuses to be ashamed*)
  • Gilmore Girls (^^)
  • How to Train Your Dragon (movies and TV shows … yep …)
  • Phineas and Ferb (I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY IT’S SO CLEVER!)
  • John Wayne (I don’t want as many of his movies as I used to, but darn, he’s good!)
  • Most old movies (some of my favorites include Bringing Up Baby, Arsenic and Old Lace,Β His Girl Friday, Rebecca, The Philadelphia Story, Notorious, The Thin Man …)
  • The Marx Brothers. I’m not appologizing.
  • Cary Grant (what?)
  • Keira Knightley (I’m sorry; she’s just so good! And Pride and Prejudice 2003 is soooo awesome! I’m sorry; I don’t get 1995. The Elizabeth isn’t nearly as good …)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean (I AM NOT ASHAMED! Especially the first and last one …)
  • Most old musicals (Guys and Dolls, The Music Man, The Sound of Music, Hello, Dolly!, High Society, West Side Story, My Fair Lady, GiGi, Singin’ in the Rain … shall I go on?)
  • Hitchcock thrillers (Vertigo is my all-time favorite, but I like Rear Window, Charade, and To Catch a Thief, too … and Rope, oh my word …)
  • Practically all the music in the world except the songs I don’t like.
  • And I have yet to back down about my love of country music. So that’s something.
  • And a lot of other things. Because I’m pretty well-balanced. (Okay, I’m not at all, but whatever … #AllIDoIsWrite)
  • Has gone through two years of high school. (Only one to go!)
  • And eight years of school before that + kindergarten + preschool.
  • Has two little brothers. Neither are dead yet.
  • Just kidding. I would never kill my brothers.
  • Or would I?
  • Faced down three bees, multiple spiders, two snakes, and an angry momma cow.
  • Never really played video or computer games. Just wasn’t into it. *shrugs*
  • Hasn’t exploded from all the plot bunnies + character whispers.
  • Ooh, I got my food-handler’s certificate Wednesday! I can now handle your sandwiches and smoothies. Legally.
  • Won three or four first prize ribbons for knitting. Because it’s not hard at all and basically anyone can get a first prize ribbon by not making mistakes.
  • I did have my slippers sent to state fair and win first prize again, though. So there’s that.
  • I’ve been riding a horse these last couple weeks! I swear I’m going to remember to take pictures soon. He’s such a dear. The lady has me off the lead now, weaving in and out of cones and that kind of thing. It’s super fun!
  • World Champion Chocolate Eater.
  • Well, World Champion Sugared-Food Consumer, at least.
  • I have half a dozen amazing friends in real life who are so incredibly sweet and supportive.

Wow, I sure listed a lot of fandoms up there … but to be honest, I’ve just been waiting to tell you all that, soooo …
Gosh, we’re already at 15 hundred words! Unbelieveable. Well, let’s add some more words to that rapidly-growing number!


That’s right! I decided to do a giveaway. It’s a somewhat boring giveaway, but you can enter anyway. Basically, the winner gets an ebook copy of each of my published novels, The Dressmaker’s Secret, Ivy Introspective, and The Lady of the Vineyard. You can view these books here.

Enter the giveaway!

By the way, my books are now on expanded distribution which means they’re available on quite a few sales channels. Check them out!

The Dressmaker’s Secret

Ivy Introspective

The Lady of the Vineyard

See? Now you can get on practically any sales channel and grab a copy. Wouldn’t that be a great birthday present? πŸ˜‰ Okay, yes, I’m not really doing this, but if you do want a copy, you can now get it somewhere other than Amazon.

And … that’s about it! I can’t think of anything else to do in this post, and so …


~Kellyn Roth~

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Was this post too long? Did you actually read all of it? (No, I don’t expect you to.) Do we share any fandoms or accomplishments? Did you enjoy my favorite posts? Did you learn any amazing facts that will benefit your life? Did you enter the giveaway? (It’s up until tomorrow evening.)

What do you think of my thoughts?

76 Responses

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you think so; most people just call me crazy. πŸ˜‰ Well, I’ve heard of Hair Spray … if you mean the thingy in the can that makes your hair stick down … πŸ˜›

  1. Happy Birthday! (although you must not be going on 17, because my birthday is before yours, and I’m definitely not going on 17…)
    Oh, I thought things like healthcare and safe spaces were rights, too. I mean, that’s what the media tell us! πŸ˜›
    I wasn’t going to enter the giveaway, because I thought, “Oh, I’ve read your books, an ebook copies aren’t that necessary to have.” (Of course, I don’t have a Kindle, so if I were to win… well, I’d have to ask for a PDF. :P) But then I realized that I haven’t read the new version of TDS, nor TLOTV. Oops. πŸ˜‰

    1. No, I’m just sixteen. I said ‘going on seventeen’ because … I don’t know why. When I said “I am sixteen” I just had to keep going. I almost quoted the whole song … πŸ˜‰
      Yes, and the media is always right … πŸ˜›
      Well, the new version of TLOTV is mostly just formatting changes, but at least you have a chance at winning the new version of TDS! πŸ˜€

      1. Well, I do know about the song… πŸ˜‰ The whole song would turn out to be a large title, though.
        (anyway, I got your email- wow, thanks! And I realized for some reason I had forgotten about commenting. Grr, I hate it when that happens.)

  2. Happy birthday, dear Kellyn! ❀?? You’ve accomplished so much in sixteen years, and I’m sure you will only accomplish more in the next! Publishing is an AMAZING achievement, along with writing all those other novels! I’ve never finished a novel before and I WANT. TO. SO. BAD. And haha, yes, crying will get us what we want! Okay, maybe not, but we may

    1. get a hug… And ahahaha my mom spanked me and I think it may be part of my parents’ culture??? But I personally believe there are other ways of punishment lol. AND DUDE LITTLE CHILDREN ARE SO GOOD AT CONVERSATION LIKE HOW???
      (Sorry, I posted the comment before it was finished. XD)

      1. I KNOW RIGHT!?!?!? HOW DO THEY DO THAT? I can’t talk to people to save my life. But when I was little, apparently I talked to complete strangers all the time. Like, there was this trucker at a gas station or something and he was ignoring me so I said, “Hi there, you little nipper!” XD WHO WAS THIS CHILD WHO I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER?!!? It’s like I forgot how to talk …

    2. THANK YOU MAY! <3 (That awkward moment when you're trying to type <3 and you type <$ … I guess I love money …? XD )
      YOU CAN DO IT MAY! It's such an amazing feeling … you just have to find a book you're passionate about!

  3. Happy Birthday! I think the DMV is actually evil, always making things harder than they should be! Sorry about your dog. πŸ™ Singing in the Rain is my second favorite musical! And I’m still jealous of you horseback riding lessons! I’m going to go pout in the corner. No, actually I have to go bake brownies now!
    ~ Megan Joy

    1. YES THE DMV IS AWFUL! I always think of that joke in the movie Zootopia – all the people at the DMV are sloths! πŸ˜› What’s your first favorite musical? Well, maybe you’ll get horseback riding lessons soon! πŸ™‚

      1. Haha! I love that part! “How. . . May. . . I. . . Help. . . You?” My favorite musical is the 2003 version of “The Music Man.” I also love “The Happiest Millionaire” 1967!
        If I had four jobs, I could pay for the riding lessons, but then I wouldn’t have time to take the lessons! Arrgghh!
        ~ Megan Joy

        1. Oh, I haven’t seen that one! I’ve watched the old version, though, and I really loved it! πŸ™‚
          My lessons are $20 an hour so yeah, it’s feasible for me to do it … they’re really cheap! πŸ™‚

          1. I love that Buddy Hackett and Ron Howard are it the old version! Wow! $20 an hour! I want to live near you. Around this area it’s between $45 and $75 an hour!
            P.S. I love your post title! I’ve always wanted to sing this on my sixteenth birthday, but forgot. I guess I’ll have to sing evil Ralph’s part! πŸ™‚
            ~ Megan Joy

            1. Yeah, they’re pretty cool! And yes, I feel almost guilty. “Are you sure you want to give me lessons for this cheap …?” πŸ˜‰
              Thank you! Hmm, that would be a new take on things … haha!

  4. Last year, for my birthday we were in Colorado….(actually driving home), but the family we were staying with(They are AWESOME) celebrated it for us. (See? Told you!) Happy birthday!
    I agree……birthday’s are awesome!!!!!!!! Although I prefer weddings…….. πŸ˜‰

    1. That’s neat!
      Okay, so, have I told you I hate weddings? I don’t know if I ever mentioned that to anyone or not. Everyone’s always crying and happy and I always feel uncomfortable, like I’m witnessing someone’s private moment. XD

  5. Haha this reminds me of The Sound of Music. “I am sixteen, going on seventeen.” Of course that sound got a little annoying at some point, but I love the movie! πŸ™‚
    Happy Birthday! < 3

  6. True…..But there so beautiful! A friend is getting married in October……….My brother’s going but I can’t ……*sob*……………

    Nice things to have learned, Kell. πŸ˜€ Yess, we were spanked as kids and honestly there is no other way in my opinion- it is a boundary set. God says spare the rod, spoil the child, SOO yes. πŸ˜€
    I’m sure the DMV will work out. πŸ™‚

  8. Psych……..I am not aloud to watch it right now,(that and it is not on Netflix) but my older siblings are……I’ve heard it’s hilarious! I really recommend Leverage! It’s on netflix! And it’s hilarious! There are a few curse words……… But if you can get pass that it’s a really good show!

    1. Yeah, I always feel like I technically shouldn’t watch Psych because there is quite a bit of language and a few other things show up in some episodes (and the main character isn’t above making crude jokes occasionally), but it is quite entertaining.
      I’ll have to check that out! Lots of people have told me about it. πŸ™‚

  9. It’s funny! My favorite is the Rashomon Job! But you have to watch them in order. Especially season 3.

  10. HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY! πŸ˜€ I did read all of your post, amazingly enough. πŸ˜› And whoa, if I pass my test, I may get my license before you MWAHAHAHAHA. (Yes, I am 17. No, I do not have my license yet. #procrastinationishorrible (I just used a hashtag. What’s wrong with me.))
    BUT YAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOW IS SIXTEEN GOING FOR YOU? (And it’s okay, dating is probably overrated anyway. πŸ˜› )

    1. Thank you. *bows* Well, at least you’re getting it now? Haha. (YOU USED A HASHTAG!?! I must be rubbing off on you …)

  11. Our church does courting! It’s so much safer, and better for you! How I know this……..No idea. πŸ˜‰

    1. Yeah, I don’t really believe in courting, mostly because I don’t understand why you can’t just call it dating and not do anything immoral! But I guess it’s up to other people what they think it right for them. πŸ™‚

  12. With dating, there can be several people(NOT VERY GOOD, OR SAFE).
    be involved with romantically, typically with the intention of marrying.

    1. To me, you can date in a clean, Christian way with the intention of marriage, which would be what I would do. I have nothing against courtship; it’s just not what I’m personally going to do. πŸ™‚

      1. Yeah me too. I like holding hard to my beliefs and if someone tries to stand against them, I argue…….
        Or should I say I like arguing? πŸ˜‰

        1. Well, I love arguing, so … that’s okay with me! πŸ˜€ Of course, I don’t think I really want to argue so much as debate? But then I might be bad at debating because it might be hard for me to keep calm in person. Over the internet, I’m usually fine, though. I guess I just need internet debates? πŸ˜‰

    1. No, it was just an old photo that I happened to have nearby while making that graphic. πŸ˜‰ It’s from … oh, April? I don’t know. My BFF and I did a photo shoot for my blog. πŸ™‚

  13. Happy Birthday! I love old movies…my favourite actor is either Clark Gable or William Powell πŸ™‚
    You need to add the Humphery Bogart classics on your list, if you haven’t already – To Have and Have Not, Key Largo, The Maltese Falcon, etc.
    BTW, thanks for following my blog!

    1. Clark Gable is awesome! I’ve probably watched things with William Powell, but I’ve forgotten. XD I’ve seen To Have and Have Not and The Maltese Falcon … they’re were both great! πŸ˜€

      1. William Powell is Nick Charles. πŸ™‚
        And then, you know you’re an old movie nerd when you have to control the urge to describe a character by saying he looks like Clark Gable. πŸ˜› #truestory

        1. OH MY GOODNESS. I just realized who William Powell is! I love The Thin Man! And there are other movies I’ve watched with him in it, and he’s just amazing! πŸ˜€
          I’ve done that! Only I think I used a reference to Cary Grant, which is slightly less obscure … right? *tries to sooth self*

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